"Crazy Thing To Do Today"...Another One

Walk up to a person in Beverly Hills, cock your head to the side and ask: "Where's the best place to get a nose job around here?".

Unleash The Power

I went to a mall last night to use their public bathroom and a security guard working there followed me, waited for me to come out of the bathroom and tried to block my path out. I asked him, "Is everything okay?", he did not say anything and gave me a quizzical look. I then asked the reason for being so aggressive with me, questioning his behavior, he then said: "Get some self-esteem.". What planet is he on? Is that person actually qualified for the job? I told him I would surely let the security company he was working for know his actions and his odd behavior. I went to a bar last night called the Red Rock cafe and saw Andy Garcia walking down the street. I said, "Hi Mr. Garcia!". Mr. Garcia? I was a little embarrassed after calling him that because it sounded like I was in a classroom and greeting a school teacher. He didn't seem to mind. Sometimes, you can run into celebrities walking down the street, a great opportunity to pitch a project, if you have one (not a good idea). Sometimes I feel like everyone is in outerspace, their minds warped because they aren't self-conscious of their actions. It's a sub-conscious effort (I'm sure some of you are familiar with that). Why not just jump off a bridge? The minute depression kicks in, it's time to get some treatment. Don't spread your "love" with everyone else. Sometimes I feel like people judge me by the way I look. Shabby. It's true. They do. Very few people I meet actually talk to me and they are either wealthy or educated. Or just plain lonely. Martyrdom. I hate it. It sucks but it's implanted in people's minds, I think. Maybe that's the reason why I'm homeless. Corporate greed. A PATH employee approached me today while I was sitting at a Starbucks in West Hollywood. She wanted to give me a lunchbag. I told her never to approach me again. Why, you ask? Well, it's because the food they are distributing to the homeless is not fresh. When I accepted the lunchbag I was given on Monday, I looked at the date on the carton of juice. The juice was approximately two weeks old. Are they trying to kill me? Yuck. The Starbucks I was sitting at while drinking my cup of coffee has lapsed in standard. After drinking my cup of coffee, I noticed debris at the bottom of my cup and hair! What the hell is going on? After bringing it up with the manager, she looked at me as if I was crazy. Yuck. I'm going to start posting "Crazy thing to do today" thoughts. I thought it might entertaining. Maybe people sitting at their computers in their office cubicles will enjoy the sense of humor. Here' s the first one:

• Bang your head against the wall while listening to Radiohead's song "Creep".