Not Fair

Alright, I'll try to lessen the foul language but fuck, I've just viewed some other blogs and these people are making fucking thousands of dollars a month in advertising revenue. They're all just fucken trashy gossip blogs with pictures of Paris Hilton dancing and smoking a cigarette in a fucken club. This sucks. That's not fair. I'll bet some fucken rich dude started that website and reaps all the benefits because he has all the right connections to all the parties.


In the meantime, I've got this blog, writing about sleeping on a fucken couch in an alleyway, getting arrested by cops for nothing and going to soup kitchens. No wonder nobody reads this blog. No wonder Google Ads turned me down. Who wants to read this shit?

Invisible Enemy

Hey guys, it's a terrific day today. I saw three movies this weekend. Nacho Libre, starring Jack Black, about a priest who becomes a wrestler to raise money for the orphanage. There's a lot of satire in this movie. It pokes fun at religion. Good for them. The other one was RV, starring Robin Williams. It's about a guy who takes family on vacation in an RV. It's hilarious, there's a lot of poo-poo and pee-pee jokes. Last but not least, is Garfield 2, A Tale of Two Kitties. It stars Bill Murray as Garfield and is a fun-filled family movie. Good for them.


On a more serious note, I have read an article in a weekly newspaper about the federal consent decree. It is designed to reform local law agencies and was instilled after an incident with a man and the police. Sort of like that Rodney King incident. The only thing is, it's not being followed. The police have a database and are allowed to arrest anyone they deem suspicious of gang activity or terrorism. So much for that, what the hell is that all about.


No one is charged with heading the department that puts out this database, so it's kind of like Al Queda. It's invisible! You can't see it or touch it. Like God. Something that exists but in only in your mind. This department is funded by the public through the state attorney general's office. They mostly target gang members but pretty much look for anybody, so homeless people are susceptible.


So much for rehabilitation. Anyway, I had the honor of meeting the new singer of the Doors Friday night! His name is Alan. He is recording with the band in Burbank, I think. He was gracious enough invite me to his table with his girlfriend. MMMM. No, nothing happened but he's met Axl Rose. How cool is that? He says that Axl Rose is a quiet guy in person. I can imagine.

The Sky's The Limit

Have you ever heard that saying? You would need a rocket to go further, preferably fueled with sugar. My friend is in town from Orlando, Florida. I'm going to meet with him. I have another friend who just won an award and a prize for his film, the catch is the money can only be used for post-production. Too bad. It would've been one hell of a party, $130,000.


Now that the weather is fair, everyone seems to be in a "good" mood. Well, gosh, I guess that means people will be "nice" to each other. Fuck off, freaks. If you can't be nice on a foggy day, don't be nice at all. Do everyone else a favor with emotional intelligence, jump off a bridge or take some prozac, I did, it did wonders for me. Besides, have you ever heard of common courtesy? Have heard the term "no worries"? I'm sick of those sorority skanky hoes in flip-flops saying that, it annoys the fuck out of me. Goddamn neo-hippies and peace-mongerers. Is there anything better to do than put two fingers up and smoke pot? Or anything else for that matter, that's illegal?


I read in the paper today, the city of Los Angeles will finally be taking action against firms that push tenants out of rent-controlled buildings. Finally? What the fuck were they waiting for? Zombies to gather outside cityhall to eat their flesh? Dum fucks. After six years of this gentrification bullshit, people are starting to realize poor people are the one's getting thrown out on to the streets.


It's about time we get out of this zombie mode we're in (it is fear, which paralyzes people) and get to work on some goddamn (no, I'm not going to hell using that term) issues here. There was, for a while, a trend going on. Buildings torn down, buildings going up. What opens up near those buildings? Starbucks. Or one of those other pathetic franchises stuck in the same building (if you notice, there usually a security guard not too far away). Corporate fare at it's finest.


We need to snap out of it. Shake it off, whatever evil thought that's on the back of people's minds. Stop being stuck on stupid. You know what I'm talking about. Reprogram yourself.


*Disclaimer: This particular website, www.blogger.com, does not endorse any opinion on this blog. If this material offends you, then fuck off.


"Crazy Thing To Do Today" thought: Buy all the tickets for one movie showing and sit there, watching the movie alone, while someone blows you off. Ha-Ha.

Dogs and Cats

I like writing because when you write, you can have fun. One of the ways of having fun is with words, which is what I do. Anybody reading this blog can interpret what they read any way they want, it's just fun. I ran into a friend who is in town writing a story of his life in the form of a screenplay. We had a heated conversation about my situation ( he's penniless as well).


What most people recommend is taking care of the situation by getting a full-time job. Wrong. That's not how you do it. People think getting a full-time job is going to get a person off the streets and into a home within the first two weeks of getting paid?


That would work if someone gave me a place to stay, sure, that seems pretty logical. I don't know anybody who would do that. I have to rely on myself. Part of the problem is lack of affordable housing. While I am lucky I do not have the debt most people my age have, I also lack the credit rating most people have, which means mistrust on the landlord's part.


There aren't enough places where I can take a shower and carrying all my clothing- hygiene products with me would make the employer suspicious. The employer will eventually suspect something is wrong. So you see, this is one of those situations you must consider carefully. I am doing that, I know what's best for me, don't you know what's best for you? I'm sure you do.


The person I was talking to yesterday was a former executive from Texas who was once a multi-millionare. He spent every penny of it. Good for him, I would've too (while putting some aside!). I will have money some day. I consider myself fortunate because I'm learning from other people's mistake, not mine. Sure, I've made mistakes too but not the kind other people are making.


I've just written to Vanity Fair magazine about the incident with the Beverly Hills police, which occurred a couple of weeks ago. A particular reporter, Dominick Dunne, writes about this topic in his column. They might get back to me, who knows. They have once already. I think they like the way I write.


"Crazy Thing To Do Today" thought: Create a model-size house with construction paper.

When The Dust Settles

An anonymous commenter asked, " What would I do if the dog said 'yes' (woof)?". It depends on how you would have interpreted the bark. If you interpreted the bark as yes, roll around on the floor and kiss each other, I guess. The possibilities are endless. (Just use a condomn).


I realize how lucky I am. I've just read the front page of the USA Today newspaper (today's edition) and realize how lucky I am. The article on the front page reads that many college graduates are in debt $100,000. It going to take them 30 years to pay it back. I'm only in debt $6,000. Ha-Ha. Kudos to me. Someday, I will be rich. Why? My credit rating will higher than most people my age and I will be able to take out a loan at a much lower interest rate to start a business. I will start a business someday.


In the meantime, if you have a cat and it purrs...

So Dark The...Well You Know The Rest

So dark the Con of Man, very powerful words. I saw "The Da Vinci Code" this weekend, it was terrific. I loved every second of it. I also saw "The Omen". I had a pretty good weekend. I found a blanket by the couch where I'm still sleeping at night, I don't have to depend on my jacket for warmth. I didn't find the blanket until three o'clock this morning.


There was a helicopter circling right above me with a spotlight, they were looking for somebody. I then heard shouts and screams like: "Get your ass on the ground". At first I thought it was a public sex act of some kind, then I realized it was the cops. I went back to sleep afterwards but then, I woke back up because I was cold. It wasn't until the birds started chirping that I found the blanket behind the couch.


I got this lotion, it's really good. It's called Lubriderm. It's really good because it does not contain alcohol, which enhances fragrance and can dry your hair or skin. I use it to clean my face in the morning and dress my hair. My hair, I discovered, needs a lot of moisture. Otherwise, it will dry up and tangle up. The end result are dreadlocks. Dreadlocks are not attractive. I'm going to relax my hair when I get the money. It'll be part of my new look. First impressions are everything.


A friend of mine, Kevin Aviance, has been attacked and placed in a hospital. He is a gay entertainer who had a number one hit a few years back. His jaw is broken, so they had to wire it shut. He won't be able to sing for a couple of months. Yikes. It looks like New York will be dangerous again. I hope he will be okay. We used to hang out at parties.


"Crazy Thing To Do Today" thought: Propose to your dog.

Smashed...Rotten Bananas

I have received an interesting comment from an anonymous commenter (Sunny). Yes, the good times are coming, it's bye-bye Christian, right-wing movement (at least let's hope so) and hello libertarian movement (you can thank Bill Maher for that). How do I fit in the picture? Well, I'll probably end up in a band. I've just finished meeting up with a talented guitar player and we're figuring out a way to get some rehearsal space so that we can practice. We need to practice day and night. If he and I get that space, fuck everything else, I'm going for the gold, ramming everyone else ahead of me. Fuck these college bands.


Anyway, I'm late posting an entry because the website was down for a while. I've been sleeping on a sofa in an alleyway and there are smashed, rotten bananas right beside the sofa. How cool is that? I've also contacted every news agency about the incident with the Beverly Hills police department a couple of weeks ago. Let's see what happens.


It's very hard to blog because you need a laptop computer with a cellular chip in it that picks up signal from one of the telephone companies. In order for the blog to get attention, you have to post 18-20 entries a day. It takes a lot of work. The laptop computer costs $2,000. Yikes. That's funny money. I would rather spend that on clothes, I smell like shit and it ain't funny (I don't really smell that bad). I really appreciate the people looking over my blog.


" Crazy Thing To Do Today" thought: Sit along side traffic on the sidewalk in a lawnchair, holding up a sign that says: 'Honk If You're A Queen.' (Ha-Ha)

Stuck On Stupid

I've just read an article in the May 29th issue of New York magazine about Peter Gaiten, a notorious Canadian who owned nightclubs during the 80's and 90's. He exemplified and guarded artists in New York City. After Mayor Rudolph Giuliani took office, he was found guilty of tax evasion and deported back to Canada, where he now resides.


New York City (Manhattan) was extremely exciting during the 80's and 90's, thanks to him, now it is a placid, money generating machine but Peter Gaiten, alas, is opening a new club called Circa in Toronto after seven years. Good for him. You may have seen the movie Party Monster, starring Macaualy Calkin and Dylan McDermott. Macaulay Calkin played Michael Alig, a vivacious promoter for Peter Gaiten's nightclubs. Unfortunately, Michael Alig took the liberty of murdering a person also involved in the nightclub scene during the "heyday". He is now in a juvenile hall, being held until next year.


What does this all mean? You figure it out. With heavy metal swinging back, smacking people in the face, there's no telling what's going to happen. I'll tell you one thing, though, Republican paranoia and all that other shit that comes with it is almost over. I feel I will be a part of the resurgence of creative freedom but we will be catapulted into the future through technology and idealism. What does mean for pop culture and everything else pop? It means it will come back differently, in a big way.

Leeeeeeeet The...Foghorn Sound

Boy, is it foggy today. There is a very thick fog hanging over the entire area of Los Angeles. It's not really a problem for me but the moisture in the air does make me sleepy. I slept on a couch last night after singing for five hours at a place called The Palms, on Santa Monica Boulevard across from the Ramada Inn. It was awesome. I gave my singing voice excercise. For all you freaks out there who are questioning my reason for being in a bar, get a life.


Eventually, I will put a contemporary R&B band together. I don't care if I just sing at Bar Mitvah parties or any other kind of wedding party, I'm going to sing, damn it. I enjoy it as well as writing (although I don't enjoy writing as much, it makes me feel old). I did feel stiff while on stage at the bar because of my attire. My clothing does not fit me too well. No, I'm not satisfied with what I got. Why should I be? I deserve more and better than what I have (or maybe I'm just deluded with narcissism, ha-ha). I think someday, I will make it as a writer or artist but for now, I just feel like I'm a million years old. Gross.


"Crazy Thing To Do Today" Thought: Dance while waiting to cross the street.

Welcome...To The Jungle

Well, after going to the D.P.S.S. (that's Department of Public Social Services)today, I have learned I will have to wait another two months before I can apply for General Relief. I was able to get assistance for food, though. It will only last one week, unless I buy peanut butter and jelly with a package of bread, walking around with it. I'm not going to do that. I'm thinking what I'm going to do for two months while I wait.


It's becoming increasingly hard to maintain the mindset needed when you are homeless. It is not easy. Maintaining an exceptional level of self-esteem and confidence is challenging. You are constantly self-conscious of your body odor and appearance. It's also difficult finding people to have a conversation with at a coffee shop or the beach. Everyone is furious and tense, looking over their shoulder. It's pretty funny, actually. I always chuckle when I see that sort of behavior. Freaks. You can also become deluded. Well, Sunny and friends, the library is closing, 'til tommorrow.


"Crazy Thing To Do Today" Thought: Dance in the middle of the street in traffic during rush hour.

I...Forgot...To...Mention

It is another beautiful day in Southern California. Oh, my gosh, if this goes on, I think I'm going to die laughing. I forgot to mention two days ago that my name is in the June issue of Vanity Fair magazine in the mailbag section. They "quoted" me as saying "Graydon Carter's plaid pants look perfectly fine." Graydon Carter is the editor-in-chief of Vanity Fair magazine and he wore a pair of plaid pants to his Oscar party at Morton's in Los Angeles in 2006. Other magazine's critized him, writing he had no taste in clothing what so ever. A senior executive emailed me back, writing, "We will tentavilely publish your letter.". Wellll, they didn't exactly publish the email I sent to them but my goddamn name, Ricardo Quinones, is in this month's issue. Cool. They respect my opinion. Guess what? GQ magazine will publish my email I sent to them two months ago in their upcoming July issue (hopefully) about Michael Jackson. They called me to verify information. How cool is that?


I met Brian Grazer yesterday while sitting in front of the IL Fornio restaurant on Beverly Drive in Beverly Hills. I said "Hi, Mr Grazer!", in my high-pitched voice. He's a really big movie producer in town and his office is located in Beverly Hills. Cool! Connections...Connections...Connections. Gotta go!


"Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy Thing To Do Today" thought: Spend $1000 at a 99 cent store.

Almost There

It's another beautiful day here in Southern California. The weather works out well for me. Since summer is prematurely here, it's a great time to head to the beach, which ever you prefer and make the best of the sun. Throw a blanket on the sand, prop up a umbrella, crack open a bottle of Corona Light from your ice-filled cooler and darken that skin. Then, go home, take a shower and throw on a white, double-breasted suit, slick-back your hair and you're set for the night. Don't forget the cigars. That's what I would do. There's plenty to do at the beach besides tanning. You can rollerblade, play basketball, walk around window-shopping, you get the picture.


It's almost time for me to reapply at the D.P.S.S. agency. It is ironic I endured the winter season without the benefits of housing. It infuriates me just thinking about it. While I was crossing the street today in Beverly Hills, I came across an unmarked Ford Thunderbird. It was a unique looking car, so I took a look at the driver. The driver saw me and acknowledged me. It turns out he was present at the time I was arrested last Tuesday. He does not look like a policeman or a detective. Hmmm. Very frightening. The next time I see I will ask him who he works for. Can I do that? Would it be safe to do that? I'm going to find out. When I do see him, I will ask him the real reason why I was arrested. I'm sure the answer will be shocking.


"Crazy Thing To Do Today" Thought: Jump the velvet rope at a nightclub.

Scary Night

It was a frightening night last night, while sleeping on a couch I had found vacant in West Hollywood. It was about 8 o'clock, when, after falling asleep, a suspicious female was going into my pocket, reaching for my cellphone. I woke up, scared and bewildered. She drew back, saying "Are you okay? I was about to call an ambulance. I thought you were dead. Do you need any cigarettes or food?". I said "Fuck off, bee-yatch." (just kidding). I actually said "No, thank you, I'm fine.". I fell back asleep on the couch as she walked away moving my cellphone to another pocket. I first thought she was trying to feel my cock. Sometimes women can't help themselves. Ever have that happen to you? It wouldn't make sense though. Why would she want to have sex with me out in the open, in an alleyway? You never know.


It's another absolutely gorgeous day today. We (California) are on a roll. Three days in a row, as a matter of fact. Everyone is in a good mood. It's a good day to ask someone on the street for money (I have to do that sometimes, hell, I only make $7,000 a year). When I do obtain affordable housing (if that ever happens), I'm going to go to the National Personal Training Institute. Whew, long name. It's a place that trains and certifies people to become personal physical trainers. I would imagine it would be a pretty opportunistic job (wink, wink). Why do I feel horny all of a sudden?


I provided a link to the complete Guns N Roses concert filmed in Lisbon, Portugal, in my last entry. It's better to have a broadband connection than a dial-up connection while viewing it. I thought the concert was pretty good but there were a lot of complaints about everything. You'll just have to give the band some time, I guess. Axl Rose hasn't performed in years, so he's just getting geared up. I almost had the pleasure of meeting him but it didn't happen. I was in a club called Spa, on 13th Street in Manhattan, New York on a Thursday night (it's closed now), celebrating Amanda Lepore's birthday party (David LaChappelle's muse). The party was being thrown by David LaChappelle himself. It was packed and Guns N Roses were touring after their surprise performance on the 2002 MTV Video Music Awards.


Axl Rose shows up, at about 2:30 am, wearing a fur coat. At the time, the club had a "No Fur Coat" policy. They did not let him in, after he refused to take off the fur coat. I don't blame him. Well, after that episode, he canceled the rest of his tour. Go figure. I was inside the club while that was happening. Had I been outside the club, I would've held the fur coat for him, waiting outside the club, while he was inside. Mind you, it was about 30 degrees Farenheit. That didn't happen, though. Too bad.


I'm an aspiring singer as well. This summer, I'll be making a VERY STRONG EFFORT to put together either a contempary R&B cover band or an Alice in Chains cover band. I gotta do it, it's in my blood, baby. There's nothin' like rockin' out on stage, running back and forth and screaming into the microphone, making a lasting impression. I could do that. Anybody out there want to help me? Not too many people can.


Well, between the fuckin' arrest last week and a cold or flu I caught last week, I've been fraught with disaster. Here's another "Crazy Thing To Do" Thought:


Ask a woman: "Can you tell me what a 'cameltoe' is?".

Someone's Playing God

It is Tuesday and absolutely gorgeous. It is the second day in a row for this weather. Before Monday, the weather was treacherous. I'm still trying to figure out why I was arrested last Tuesday. I'm still scratching my head and smirking. Sidenote: When the police arrested me, while they were asking me facts about myself, they asked for my telephone number. I wonder WHY. Well, it doesn't matter. It's irrelevant to what I'm focusing on these days in my life. I found a recliner in Santa Monica sitting pretty in a parking lot of a store. That's where I've been sleeping for two days. It's not bad. There are, I think, two other homeless people who sleep on the ground of the parking lot. I guess I'm smarter. They haven't occupied the recliner yet. I'm still scratching my head.

I should be going to the D.P.S.S. agency either Thursday or Friday. Last week really delayed me. I saw Guns n Roses perform live in Lisbon, Portugal for the Rock N Rio Music Festival. How? It was on the internet. I bet you're still scratching your head.


"Crazy Thing To Do Today" thought: Tell a Beverly Hills cop to go "Fuck him/her self".

What??????????????????

I actually wrote a letter to the CEO of the P.A.T.H. organization, Mr Joel John Roberts. I thought I would share it with the public:

May 22nd, 2006:

Hi, Mr Joel John Roberts. My name is Ricardo. I have read your blog and I'm a little bit familiar with P.A.T.H. I've stayed at a Beverly and Vermont (I think) location and a location in Hollywood. While the organization may be a noble cause, I didn't think it would help me because the program is intensified. There is an imposed curfew at both of these locations, which means these are detoxification centers for the homeless. I don't feel I need a curfew, there's so much I can miss! This is Los Angeles, the land of opportunity. While I might be homeless, I should be able to stay out as long as I want to, knowing fully well my schedule the next morning. Your organization has an out-reach team, handing out out-dated food and drink. I received a bagged lunch one Monday, with a carton of juice three weeks old!

There is only one place I choose to get help from. The Department of Public Social Services. It is run by Los Angeles county. The only problem that I've experienced with them is their lack of support for housing the homeless while training them to get back into the workforce. When I applied last year (2005), I told them I was homeless. I was given a two-week voucher for a room downtown in Central City (Skid Row). It was wonderful, I could come and go as pleased. I attended the G.R.O.W. orientation but could not follow through with the rest of the program. Why? I did not have housing. They told me to stay in a shelter. Why would I stay in a shelter(P.A.T.H.) that has the same intensified vocational program as G.R.O.W., when I can stay in a hotel in Central City with a General Relief voucher? It turns out, the Department of Public Social Services does not advocate that particular form of housing but it is available.

One year later, I learned of the "General Relief" voucher but it was too late. I'm going back this week to the D.P.S.S. center in the Rancho Mirage District to reapply. $2,000 was wasted, that I have to pay back (Recipient-single male adult- receives the maximum of $221 per month, for a period of nine or twelve months). These experiences have forced me to start a blog entitled "Homelessmansdiary".

Homeless services need to centralized into one organization, in my opinion. Even if a person saved money from their income for six months, how does that guarantee they are going to sustain themselves? The city and state officials need to buy up property and start building affordable housing. They also need to stop stifling creativity. There is a lack of support for creative artists. There's plenty of mentally ill people out there that need that curfew more so than I do. Why fund non-profit agencies to do the job (especially those which are "faith-based)? Common sense should prevail, not the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Focus on supportive housing. It's that simple. Why make it complicated? Why complicate people's lives? In New York City, rent control laws no longer exist. The place I was staying in went for $500 a month. As soon as the building was sold and the new owners took over, the rent jumped by $200 in one single month, going from $500 to $700 per month! I flew the coup. I'm not going to slave myself. I'm not going to slave myself here in Los Angeles either. Why give up my dreams for some stinky little apartment? Why slave myself to pay that mortgage or that credit card debt?


Ricky.


Would do you, the reader, think? I've gotten more comments via email from people reading the blog, they are very nice comments and supportive comments. The reason why I haven't posted an entry for two days is because I was arrested by the Beverly Hills Police Department Tuesday morning, while walking down Burton Way towards the Beverly Hills Public Library. The case was rejected this morning by a judge in Beverly Hills Court. Why? I did not do what they (the police) were accusing me of doing, their evidence was inconclusive (no fingerprint match). The police accused me of grand theft auto (stealing a $3500 bicycle), possession of narcotics (in a duffel bag thrown in the bushes I presume, were needles and cocaine) and resisting arrest.

They approached me as I was walking down the street I mentioned earlier and told me to sit down on the curb. They then said, "Why are you running from the police?". Running from what? I had just come from a Peet's Coffee Shop and walked down Robertson Boulevard to get to Burton Way. "We have fingerprints and video of you stealing the bicycle and running away from the police.", they said.

They then handcuffed me and put me in a patrol car, driving me just a few blocks away to the Civic Center, where the Police Department, Fire Department, Public Library and City Hall are located. Whew! I was then booked and kept in a locked cell for three days, Tuesday, Wednesday and today, Thursday. Whew! They fed me like a king, giving me three super-hot meals a day, double portion. It was not enough to lift my spirits. I was frightened and wondered to myself, why would I be falsely charged? Have I gone completely nuts and blacked out when this occurred? Do they actually have evidence against me? No. They didn't. I guess they just needed a suspect. Martydom. It sucks. The case was thrown out of court and I was returned back into civilization, released in Beverly Hills, right where I started Tuesday morning. Yikes!

"Crazy Thing To Do Today" Thought: Ask a celebrity for $100.

Relentless Rain

Boy, has it been raining. It's bizarre. It's the end of May and the rain persists. Why do I whine about it, you might ask? It's because when you're homeless, you have to scout constantly for a new area in which to call home for the night. Last night, I found a couch (again) and guess what, there was a bonus. A rug included on top of the couch. It came in handy. It was cloudy all day yesterday. There was not a single spot of sun. It was relentless. Then, a little after 9 pm, the shit hit the fan. It just started pouring. That's when the rug came in handy, it provided cover for me but not for long. There was first a drizzle, light sprinkles, then it started to pour. Even though I had the rug for cover, pretty soon I was soaking wet. In my mind, I had to make a quick decision. Should I stay under the rug, or go. I was contemplating staying because on Friday, I bought myself some clothing, instead of staying in a motel room for one or two nights. I bought some leather sandals and a pair of pants, along with a jacket. I had to consider the leather sandals getting wet. Once leather gets wet, you have to recondition it. Or, you can weatherproof it beforehand, which I didn't do. I decided to take off. The rug started leaking anyway, failing to provide cover from the rain for me. A cardboard box would've been more handy. A mentally ill man was rummaging through the dumpster right behind me last night, the noise depriving me of sleep. It was very frightening. The experience, between the noise (there were no helicopters in the air) and the rain, the fear of getting wet, trying to stay warm as well. Whew! I'm glad I got that off my chest. I'll be going to the Department of Public Social Services this week, I think the 30 day sanction has been lifted (if you do not complete the G.R.O.W. program, you are penalized for a certain period of time before you can apply again).

"Crazy Thing To Do Today" Thought: Throw your head back and open your mouth while it's raining.

C

Crazy cronies crooning.

Creepy creatures crawling.

Crystal creamy critters carousing.

Crappy cats colliding.

Crescent Heights craving cash.

Cranial cast creeping cowardly candid.

Crescendo Christ craning collectively.

Crapshoot cantor crazily christening chorus.

Canaries constantly canning coins.

I thought someone might appreciate a little wordplay.

Stray Cats

I've noticed there are a lot of stray cats wandering around, especially in areas I frequently go to. There was a woman walking down Burton Way in Beverly Hills clutching a box of cat treats close to her breasts. She was calling out "Nicky", "Nicky". She had lost her cat. After describing what the cat looked like to me, I mentioned an area in West Hollywood where I may have seen a cat similar to hers wandering. I then asked her, "Do I get a reward if you find the cat?". eShe said, "You just did.". I said, "Yeah, what was that?". She said, "A good feeling.". "I didn't get a good feeling.", I said. I then said, "Could you give me a good feeling?" (use your imagination). Has anybody ever seen the movie "Vanilla Sky"? There's a scene in which Penelope Cruz's character says to Tom Cruise's character, "I'll tell you in another lifetime, when we're both cats.". It was difficult for me to sleep last night, in an alleyway. I don't have a pillow, so I used newspapers stacked up yay high. It was very uncomfortable. There were helicopters buzzing in the sky and sirens wailing all the time. Pure pandemonium. I managed to get some shut eye. I took off my sneakers, giving my feet a rest. I rarely do that, for fear someone will take them. There were other homeless people sleeping nearby. That's not a good sign. It's a condensed space, which means trouble. I'm not going there tonight. Someone emailed me yesterday, commenting on the blog, calling it one of their favorite's. They also said thank's. Your welcome. I hope you will find entertaining. I do. Cool. I hope it's someone famous (just kidding). Here's another " Crazy Thing To Do Today" Thought:

Walk into a Victoria's Secret store in a naked body suit and prance around.

"Crazy Thing To Do Today"...Another One

Walk up to a person in Beverly Hills, cock your head to the side and ask: "Where's the best place to get a nose job around here?".

Unleash The Power

I went to a mall last night to use their public bathroom and a security guard working there followed me, waited for me to come out of the bathroom and tried to block my path out. I asked him, "Is everything okay?", he did not say anything and gave me a quizzical look. I then asked the reason for being so aggressive with me, questioning his behavior, he then said: "Get some self-esteem.". What planet is he on? Is that person actually qualified for the job? I told him I would surely let the security company he was working for know his actions and his odd behavior. I went to a bar last night called the Red Rock cafe and saw Andy Garcia walking down the street. I said, "Hi Mr. Garcia!". Mr. Garcia? I was a little embarrassed after calling him that because it sounded like I was in a classroom and greeting a school teacher. He didn't seem to mind. Sometimes, you can run into celebrities walking down the street, a great opportunity to pitch a project, if you have one (not a good idea). Sometimes I feel like everyone is in outerspace, their minds warped because they aren't self-conscious of their actions. It's a sub-conscious effort (I'm sure some of you are familiar with that). Why not just jump off a bridge? The minute depression kicks in, it's time to get some treatment. Don't spread your "love" with everyone else. Sometimes I feel like people judge me by the way I look. Shabby. It's true. They do. Very few people I meet actually talk to me and they are either wealthy or educated. Or just plain lonely. Martyrdom. I hate it. It sucks but it's implanted in people's minds, I think. Maybe that's the reason why I'm homeless. Corporate greed. A PATH employee approached me today while I was sitting at a Starbucks in West Hollywood. She wanted to give me a lunchbag. I told her never to approach me again. Why, you ask? Well, it's because the food they are distributing to the homeless is not fresh. When I accepted the lunchbag I was given on Monday, I looked at the date on the carton of juice. The juice was approximately two weeks old. Are they trying to kill me? Yuck. The Starbucks I was sitting at while drinking my cup of coffee has lapsed in standard. After drinking my cup of coffee, I noticed debris at the bottom of my cup and hair! What the hell is going on? After bringing it up with the manager, she looked at me as if I was crazy. Yuck. I'm going to start posting "Crazy thing to do today" thoughts. I thought it might entertaining. Maybe people sitting at their computers in their office cubicles will enjoy the sense of humor. Here' s the first one:

• Bang your head against the wall while listening to Radiohead's song "Creep".