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Wednesday, April 19, 2006 the end of the tunnel

It is a gorgeous day today, with sunny skies all over L.A. There is not a cloud in sight. Everyone in Beverly Hills, which is where I use the public library computer (yikes), is in a sexy, sexy mood. There's a lot of heat going on here in L.A., figuratively speaking. I received two comments yesterday. One comment was posted by a woman from Florida, calling herself a lesbian. She is a single parent with one child. She wished me good luck finding affordable housing in Los Angeles. I replied by saying thank you. You, the reader, can view the comment yourself. The other comment was posted by a person who only called himself "d.". The commenter asked if I was disabled. The person also asked why I did not have a job. People, you should read the daily postings before posting a comment. Another person, who I run into a lot in the public library of Beverly Hills, was disappointed because he thought he was given the impression that I was living in the "Skid Row" district. You do not have to live in that particular area to be homeless. You can live anywhere if you are homeless. Hello! Besides, what idiot would want to live in skid row. Unless you are in an SRO unit or you are a crackhead, you should not be there. It is a dangerous area and is not a supportive environment for homeless people. I could get more in Beverly Hills at a soup kitchen than I can in one downtown. I am still waiting, patiently, for approval from Google Adsense to post ads on this site. It is the only way, sensibly, for me to generate a moderate supplemental income that I know of. I do need a new pair of shoes or sneakers. Ultimately, I would LOVE a pair of UGGs from Australia. I am still working on the picture of myself to post on this blog. People need to see what I look like, people such as the editor of Variety magazine, they'll be shocked. They'll probably think, 'how can a handsome young man such as yourself be in a situation such as this?'. This is Hollywood(Movietown). I certainly do love it, why do you think I hang out in Beverly Hills? If you think I'm some sort of pencil neck geek with thick, coke-bottle glasses, you're wrong(I was that way once). One of the other reasons I post on this blog I created, is that I feel my situation is unique in the way I appear to other people. I have been forced to look at myself and ask myself, 'why don't I have friends or family I can rely on?' I will not succumb to being a loner. I want to have friends I can rely on. I know I cannot rely on my family for help because they are not capable. They do not have the financial or emotional resources. Fuck em', they don't make the effort. Sad but true. With friends, though, that can change. I can find friends that I can be with but that takes practice. Social skills. Skills I did not acquire in grades 1-12. Coming from a broken home, I was tormented and forced to go into a shell. Terrible but it happens often with kids. They, however, can rely on family for support. I couldn't. I was tormented at home as well. So, after realizing that, I set off on my own, giving my family the middle finger but it didn't turn out as well at first. When you're 18, you don't have a clue as to what you are doing. The first thing a runaway does is go to a center or they look for someone to confide in. I looked everywhere. Up, down, left, right. I did okay, I guess. I think of those past years as a rich experience. The sex, drugs, let-downs. All of it. Including........the celebrities I met. I'll reveal more of myself tomorrow.