Wow

I missed posting an entry yesterday, I didn't have time. Here's why: As I was leaving a coffee shop, I noticed a piece of paper on a community bulletin board that they have there. It was for a research project. The Department of Health is conducting a project on how to stop the spread of AIDS between men. It pays $35. You go in and take a survey. Afterward's, they place you in a group and study how men interact with one another. They also gave me an HIV test. The results came back negative within a 20 minute period. So, every week, for the next six weeks, I will be participating in this survey and recieving $35. This morning, I met an interesting fellow who openly told me he was infected with the virus. He sympathized with my situation. We talked for half an hour. He lives in a building in West Hollywood designed especially for the infected population. He wasn't too stable though, you could kind of tell he was angry in general. Well, so am I, sometimes. I know this situation will subside, so I remind myself. You do notice things other people don't see, though. It's like looking through a magnifying glass. Well, it's Thursday, which means I get paid tommorrow and will be in a hotel room, resting, recuperating, pondering, etc.

Stubborn Fog

There is a stubborn fog that just won't lift from Los Angeles and elsewhere. People may find it kind of depressing. It is certainly making me sleepy. Cloudy days always make me sleepy. Since that couch in the alleyway is no longer available, I've had to find alternatives. The gate to the underground parking lot I found Sunday night was closed last night, so I slept on a mattress behind a dumpster for the same building. I think the building of some sort of drug rehabilitation center, the facade doesn't look like your ordinary residential building. Normally on the 1st day of the month, I would receive $221 from the county of Los Angeles, through the Department of Public Social Services but since that's no longer happening, I felt a little moody. At the least, it would've provided me with a few days of well deserved rest. Everything will be in order soon though, when I reapply (ironically, it would be during the summer). I'm starting to feel like some sort of Buddhist monk, wearing the same clothing everyday and passively coping with this situation. Not cool. I'm not a particular fan of Buddhism and I'm very materialistic (let me clear my throat). I like clothing and I have style. This for me, is extremely fustrating but just what are you going to do? You can't admonish your integrity. Sometimes, in order to feel better, I would imagine $1000 in my pocket and going on a shopping spree.

Wish List

I've been researching how to direct more traffic to my blog, there are some helpful tips, most I've done already. I think the most important thing to do is to be patient. A couple of entries ago I mentioned compiling a wish list. Well, here it is:

• A pair of fuzzy Uggs
• A military field jacket
• A Starbucks teddy bear
• A walkman
• A pair of Levis cargo pants
• A nice leather belt
• A filofax
• A gym membership
• A Swedish military sleeping bag
• A Dell laptop computer with Hollywood Basic Scriptwriter software kit
• A complete hygiene kit
• A Metro monthly bus pass
• Internet membership
• A nice, soft, 100% cotton fleece sweater
• A nice CD collection

I've thought about these items over and over again. Eventually, I'll get them. They are all practical items good for everyday use but also essential for comfort during those tried and tested times I experience.

Sumptuous Day

Once again, I stayed in a hotel room Friday night and woke up Saturday morning to the movie Saturday Night Fever! What a treat that was. It gets you going for the rest of the day. The choreography/dance scenes are to die for. After I checked out, I'm walking down the Santa Monica Boulevard strip and stop to admire a red Bentley with white, leather seats. Low and behold, the person driving the car was none other than........Eddie Murphy! You don't get to see him everyday. Talk about A-list. It has been reported that he is now finalizing a deal to do a sequel to Beverly Hills Cop! Once again, that night, I ended up on the same couch as before located in an alleyway but all good things must come to an end. The very next night, Sunday, a thuggish creature woke me up at 1:30am to tell me the couch I was sleeping on was his couch! This is the first time I've had interaction with another homeless person regarding sleeping arrangements. I always avoid confrontation, so I got up and walked around in a slumber. After walking around for half an hour, I found this underground parking lot of a residential building. The gate was open, so I walked inside. Low and behold, there a zillion couches. I thought about the risks for a second. 'I'm trespassing now but the couches are sort of hidden inconspicuously, away from the cars. There aren't that many cars parked in the area (which was kind of odd, given the building was residential).' So I parked my body on one of the couches, I was exhausted. I didn't get the quality sleep I wanted, you have to consider police or sheriffs arousing you and inquiring. About two hours later, I woke up to hear a car entering the parking lot. With my sweatshirt tucked over my head (check the picture out), I freeze. 'Oh no, what if I'm seen?', I thought. False alarm. The person did not see me. Whew, that was close. I go back to sleep, wake up in the morning and get the hell out of there. Chances are, though, I'll be returning to that particular spot tonight. There's a marine layer cast overhead which is preventing the sun from poking through. Eventually, the overcast will dissipate. It does feel like it is going to rain but it's not. Summer will be in Southern California very soon. Blockbuster films are ramming into movietheaters and gas prices are going to go through the roof. If you're walking across the street, be very careful, wherever you may be, drivers are going to be very angry, looking for someone to mow down. Hopefully, by the summertime, I will have already gone through the commotions and have gotten proper housing. The city of West Hollywood is taking action against the growing rate of market-rate, sky-rocketing, through the roof and into the sky rent. They are purchasing lots or have already purchased lots and building affordable housing. As reported in the Westside Chronicle, they are focusing on, with all their mighty power, building close to 250 units. How do you get on the list, I don't know but I'm sure as holy hell going to find out. The next time I visit city hall of West Hollywood, I will inquire, inquiring minds want to know (there was no information in the article about how to get on a list). The city of Santa Monica is working on the issue of homelessness with aggression, they're sick of the problem. The average income per capita in this city by the beach is $50,000, so they are disgusted with seeing filthy, mentally ill people on the streets scratching themselves and rummaging through garbage cans sightlessly. The mistake, in my opinion, the city is going to make is giving this responsibility for sweeping the streets clean to non-profit agencies. Not a good idea! They don't know what the hell they're doing. Every city needs doctors in whitecoats with needles in their hands, walking down the street, looking for anybody who might resemble a sick, homeless person. I was walking down the street in Santa Monica once and saw this homeless man with the bulb of his nose corroded away. Yuck! It was disgusting. I had to look twice to make sure that what I was looking at was real. How is a non-profit agency going to handle that? The person needed some serious help, I think he had some sort of flesh eating disease.

Finally

I have finally got a picture. Yeah! I ran into a photographer at a Coffebean and Tea Leaf store in Beverly Hills and explained I had a blog and needed a photograph. It turns out he needed a subject. He's also written screenplays and has directed feature films. So, I'm going to post the photograph (it is exceptional) on this particular entry. He has a website you can go to: http://www.gravitywavefilms.com. On that website, he showcases his work.

The Sofa Again

I slept on a sofa again thrown away by a nearby tenant in an alleyway. It wasn't too uncomfortable but without a pillow, it isn't comfortable. I only carry the clothes on my back. I have a oversized sweatshirt I wear which I stretch over my head at night to ward off the coldness of the night. Underneath that, I have a button down shirt which does not fit very well. Then, I have a pair of black stretch cotton pants I wear, with a pair of pink and black (black being the dominant color) converse sneakers and a pair of ankle cotton socks. What I'm wearing does not keep me that warm,though, I am not shivering. California has been experiencing strange, artic cold blast weather, mixed with tropical air filled with moisture. So, on some days, it is cloudy with bits of sun peeking through mixed an artic blast of cold weather and on other days it is full on sunny. Ideally, I would love to sleep in a park, undisturbed by sheriffs and policeman, they mosey around at night looking for prey nowadays, due to the redevelopment of most neighborhoods. It's hard to camouflage yourself and disappear into the night. The first thing a law enforcement officer will do is arouse you and ask for identification. The reason is because they want to check for any kind of warrants you may have against you. If you do have warrants against you, they first give you a citation for "camping", then they handcuff you and incarcerate you until it is time to see the judge in that particular district. The warrant is then recalled and you are remanded and sentenced, paying your dues for whatever you did wrong. I don't know how many homeless people experienced this but I know I have. So, I can't make it obvious I'm homeless, I have to be inconspicuous. In my opinion, the city officials should give people a chance to recall the warrants themselves through a lawyer. It is not fun sitting in jail, in a uniform, with a cholo, waiting to see the judge. You just might get your face bashed in by a deputy sheriff, giving you incentive to see the nurse, missing your court date by a day. Yuck! Back when Bill Clinton was president and before the World Trade Center tragedy, there wasn't any patrolling (trolling) going on in city parks. You could sleep undisturbed, at least in Santa Monica. The former president would sometimes jog along the beach, so from time to time, a Santa Monica police officer would gently arouse you and you would be on your way, feeling really good because you were warm that night and you had a good night's rest. Nowadays it's total pandemonium. You have to keep one eye open and one eye shut. Not because a person may rob you of, lets say, your sneakers but you have watch out for police. They're always in the air and driving around, through alleyways, looking for prey. You are deprived of sleep so, where do you end up? At Starbucks or, if you prefer, a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf store. Or you could, depending on the weather, lie down on a grassy knoll while being bitten by fruitflies and gnats and mosquito's. Yuck! That's what I've experienced anyway. I met an artist who paints yesterday. We had a lonnnnnng conversation in a parking lot of Pavillions located in West Hollywood. I gave him my blog address and mobile phone number, he offered me a job modeling in the nude in front of artists for three hours. Whether or not that happens, depends on him. Guns N Roses are back in action, after a three year hiatus. I love Axl Rose. He will be performing in New York for four days at the Hammerstein Ballroom. It is a sold-out event. Good for him. He's performing with a different roster of muscians. Wouldn't it be cool if he read my blog? It'd be even cooler if I got the opportunity to meet him. His singing voice is awesome but he is also finicky about when to release his music. I can understand that. People should have a little patience. Remember that song? I have met a lot of people. Madonna, Michael Jackson among others. I met Madonna in an art gallery. I got to meet Michael Jackson at an autograph signing for his CD he released in 2001. It was complete pandemonium. Only 500 people got the chance to meet him. He looks very different in person. I've also met Jermaine Jackson at a Starbucks store in Beverly Hills on Beverly Drive. We talked for half an hour! How cool is that. They will be both releasing new CD's. Smashing Pumpkins, you remember who they were, are getting back together and recording new stuff. How exciting is that.

Lolling and Trolling

I've received an email today from a person who responded to yesterday's entry (Hello) that was heartfelt. You can read it by clicking on "3 comments". I really do feel people can perceive the yuckiness but not turn away in disgust and then turn around, spitting on the sidewalk(that's an exaggeration). It always excites me when someone responds and compliments my writing, I've never really written before. What convinced me to write was meeting an actual writer who told me, with a British accent, "You should write something, you observe everything.". He was referring to my demeanor. I never really look down while walking down the street, I always look at the architecture and cars as well as people. There are so many ferrari's and Bentleys and Lotus's in this town and I always try to guess who's in them driving or in the passenger seat. It's also fun to try and guess what people are thinking. What's not so fun is watching people mope, their shoes sloshing on the concrete. I always get intimidated when I see a couple walk by with a baby in his or hers carriage. More families moving into the neighborhood. What about the intensity someone could feel while walking by a Mexican. I'm referring, of course, to the new illegal immigration law but you have to wonder why an American citizen can't get affordable housing. By the way, while walking on Rodeo Drive today (on my way to the library), I ran into Larry King. He is very tall. I've always assumed he was short because he wears suspenders while on set, interviewing. I didn't get to say anything to him, like: "Hello, Mr. King, congragulations on all of your success.", he was on his cellphone. I am pondering posting a picture of myself but on the other hand, it may be better not to, as a way of remaining mysterious. Tell me what you, the readers, think, by posting a comment. It would give me insight on how I should proceed with this blog. In the next couple of days, I will go further into detail on this past year, 2005 and the events which lead me to what I'm currently experiencing.

Hello

I recieved yet another comment from a reader of the blog. He says that I am a articulate writer. I try to be as concise as possible when explaining what the scenario is. I have a way of tracking how many people are visiting the blog and from what I can see, it is building up slowly. I believe this my fourth week posting on this blog, it will take a while. When I apply for General Relief again, things will definitely become interesting. That will be the time when I will conclude whether or not the Department of Public Social Services can provide me with temporary housing while I participate in the GROW(I don't know what that stands for) program. That is the only way for me to get out of this mess, unless, of course, someone reading this blog, living in California, can give me room and board while I participate in the program. That would be highly unlikely and ultimately frightening, you never know who is reading these blogs. The documentary Pras Michel of the Fugees is participating in, is garnering attention. It's going to be released sometime later this year. I didn't get any word back from the person who wrote the article in Daily Variety, Patricia McClintock but I'm glad someone who became successful had enough balls to sit down on a sidewalk in the Skid Row district or stand on a corner, begging for nickels, dimes, pennies, quarters and hundred dollar bills(he might have). If you don't know what I'm writing about, go to the link on the April 17th posting, it will lead you to the article written by Patricia McClintock. I mean, the dude wore the same clothes for nine days and stood on line, I think, for food at one of the many places in the Skid Row district. He probably endured the sermon held at the Los Angeles Rescue Mission every afternoon before lunch. Well, we will all have to wait until later on this year. I slept in a hotel room Friday and Saturday and found an abandoned couch in an alleyway, so I slept there on Sunday night going into Monday morning. Since I ran out of money, I had to ask people for $1.50 for coffee, I have to have coffee in the morning. I got $2.00 instead. A one dollar bill and four quarters. I then ate at a soup kitchen in Beverly Hills later on in the day after taking a nap.

Falling Out

I had two falling outs last night with two different people. They were both similar in that both people felt I was just an 'acquaintance'. I asked one person, who I met a couple of years ago, if he was interested in a friendship and his reply was no. He was also not interested in what I had to say at all. Yuck! The other person is someone I met a year ago, when I first arrived here in L.A. Basically, he gave me the same story. Oh, well, what are you going to do? I have received an email from Google Adsense about posting ads on this blog. There's an application process. At this particular time, my blog does not fit their criteria. In other words, they won't be posting ads anytime soon. I won't despair. I was counting on that, though. It's a terrific way to make money, getting revenue from traffic to your blog. It is a gorgeous day today. I hope it will stay that way. I am beginning to receive comments via email. Cool! Last night was hell though. I didn't get sleep at all because I left a person's house at about three or four in the morning, after having an argument with them about friendship. I was shocked, to say the least so I went to a supermarket and got some coffee in a can(you know what brand I'm talking about). I then waited until a coffeeshop would open, at around six in the morning and got myself a cup of fresh, delicious coffee on Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood. The gentleman there was very nice to me. He gave me the cup of coffee for free! Wow. So, I sat there, looking at the billboards. There are huge, gigantic billboards all over L.A. and they're fun to look at because they're inspirational. They give me a sense of where pop culture is headed in terms of movies and film. I felt as if I was hallucinating because of sleep deprivation. It's not the first time but yuck! You start to get into a pissy mood, irritable. The coffee defintely helped, though, it woke me up. I'm not upset or disappointed with the two people I had a falling out with, I always get the last laugh.

Light....................................at the end of the tunnel

It is a gorgeous day today, with sunny skies all over L.A. There is not a cloud in sight. Everyone in Beverly Hills, which is where I use the public library computer (yikes), is in a sexy, sexy mood. There's a lot of heat going on here in L.A., figuratively speaking. I received two comments yesterday. One comment was posted by a woman from Florida, calling herself a lesbian. She is a single parent with one child. She wished me good luck finding affordable housing in Los Angeles. I replied by saying thank you. You, the reader, can view the comment yourself. The other comment was posted by a person who only called himself "d.". The commenter asked if I was disabled. The person also asked why I did not have a job. People, you should read the daily postings before posting a comment. Another person, who I run into a lot in the public library of Beverly Hills, was disappointed because he thought he was given the impression that I was living in the "Skid Row" district. You do not have to live in that particular area to be homeless. You can live anywhere if you are homeless. Hello! Besides, what idiot would want to live in skid row. Unless you are in an SRO unit or you are a crackhead, you should not be there. It is a dangerous area and is not a supportive environment for homeless people. I could get more in Beverly Hills at a soup kitchen than I can in one downtown. I am still waiting, patiently, for approval from Google Adsense to post ads on this site. It is the only way, sensibly, for me to generate a moderate supplemental income that I know of. I do need a new pair of shoes or sneakers. Ultimately, I would LOVE a pair of UGGs from Australia. I am still working on the picture of myself to post on this blog. People need to see what I look like, people such as the editor of Variety magazine, they'll be shocked. They'll probably think, 'how can a handsome young man such as yourself be in a situation such as this?'. This is Hollywood(Movietown). I certainly do love it, why do you think I hang out in Beverly Hills? If you think I'm some sort of pencil neck geek with thick, coke-bottle glasses, you're wrong(I was that way once). One of the other reasons I post on this blog I created, is that I feel my situation is unique in the way I appear to other people. I have been forced to look at myself and ask myself, 'why don't I have friends or family I can rely on?' I will not succumb to being a loner. I want to have friends I can rely on. I know I cannot rely on my family for help because they are not capable. They do not have the financial or emotional resources. Fuck em', they don't make the effort. Sad but true. With friends, though, that can change. I can find friends that I can be with but that takes practice. Social skills. Skills I did not acquire in grades 1-12. Coming from a broken home, I was tormented and forced to go into a shell. Terrible but it happens often with kids. They, however, can rely on family for support. I couldn't. I was tormented at home as well. So, after realizing that, I set off on my own, giving my family the middle finger but it didn't turn out as well at first. When you're 18, you don't have a clue as to what you are doing. The first thing a runaway does is go to a center or they look for someone to confide in. I looked everywhere. Up, down, left, right. I did okay, I guess. I think of those past years as a rich experience. The sex, drugs, let-downs. All of it. Including........the celebrities I met. I'll reveal more of myself tomorrow.

Windy Night

Boy, it was windy last night. It was chilly as well. I managed the tormentuous weather by sleeping in a cardboard box located behind a high-end, up-scale clothing store. I am still pretty excited about receiving the email from the editor of Variety magazine, he suggested I email the Los Angeles Times which I have done. I am waiting for a response from Adsense, there is an application process. In the meantime, I am working part-time, allowing me to get some R and R(Rest and Relaxation) once or twice a week. It really is a waste of money, since the occupancy tax is 14% of the rate. I would rather sleep outside until I can get into an SRO (Single Room Occupancy) unit, in a military surplus sleeping bag. They are designed for this type of weather. I've had one before, so I know. I am going to start writing in my blog about my experiences before I started posting. This is my twelfth blog posting, I believe but I have been in Los Angeles since February of last year, 2005.

R and R (Rest and Relaxation)

It is a gorgeous day weather wise, with sunny skies and a light, gentle breeze. I missed a couple of days because the library in Beverly Hills, which I frequent, was closed on Sunday, April 16th, 2006 for the Easter holiday. I stayed in a hotel on Friday of last week for one night, that was all I could afford and rested by watching a couple of films on cable. I met a screenwriter from Texas on Thursday of last week. He knows the current president and his father, the former president of the United States, from growing up in Texas. We talked for a few hours about current events and before saying our good-byes, I gave him my blog address. He is the first person to comment on the blog. The second person is the editor of Variety magazine. After reading an article in the April 17th issue of Variety, I emailed him. The article was on a documentary on the state of the homeless in the "Skid Row" area, an area downtown. A major recording star disguised himself as a homeless person for a period of nine days. The documentary is being produced by an entertainment company here in Los Angeles(http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117941547?categoryid=16&cs=1&s=h&p=0). I went to a soup kitchen in Beverly Hills at an Episcopalian/Angelican church. Outside were representatives from the P.A.T.H. (People Assisting The Homeless) program. After taking a survey, I was handed a bagged lunch. The P.A.T.H. program has two shelters to my knowledge. I have stayed at both of them. The organization is run by a non-profit agency, I think, which receives funding from both private and public sources. At one facility, they run a free beauty salon. Basically, the client stays in the shelter for a period of months and saves his or her money, in the hopes of getting housing. The program also offers referrals to the Department of Public Social Services and various other city-run programs.

Tooting and Beeping

Last night, I bumped into a friend of mine and stayed at his house. This is someone I met a year ago. He is a vocal and piano instructor. We had a conversation and had a nice time. I really enjoyed it. When I left in the morning, he gave a Toblerone bar from Swizterland and a pair of gorgeous blue socks to wear. Unfortunately, the bar melted in the sun but I still enjoyed it. I sucked the melted chocolate out of the wrapper and chewed on the nuts. Besides that, it was a relatively calm day yesterday after I visited the City Hall of West Hollywood. It is a gorgeous day today with sunny skies, no clouds in sight and a comfortable breeze. It is a perfect day for sailing. I am now posting ads on this blog. Everytime a person clicks on an ad and visits the website advertising on this blog, I get revenue! Perhaps, that will solve my homelessness issue! I hope my efforts to bring awareness to this problem will pay off someday and bring together a strong community of people who are empathetic with the problem. I see a lot of homeless people in the Los Angeles area that I never really talk to but hopefully, if administrators read this blog, or anybody else for that matter, they can put themselves in my shoes and see what's going on through my eyes, as I guide them gently through the forest of fester. In a couple of days, I will put together a wish list of things I feel I need. I am not expecting anybody to respond to it, it is a list that is just food for thought. Ultimately, I do see myself as a writer. I feel comfortable doing this. It gives me great pride and joy.

City Hall

I went to City Hall of West Hollywood today to find out about the 80/20 buildings being put up in some areas. I did not get very far, the list for affordable housing is closed, consisting mostly of senior citizens and people of positive HIV status. I think my search for affordable housing will begin at the Los Angeles Housing Authority, which I will begin to pursue after I acquire an SRO (single room occupancy) unit downtown. That will happen in the next couple of months. I have to wait to reapply for General Relief since I have already used up all the time and money given to me by the county. I slept in a cardboard box last night, behind a Costume National clothing store. I did not get enough sleep because I did not have a pillow to put my head on and I was not covered up. I had to tuck my sweatshirt into my pants and pull it over my head. It was extremely uncomfortable, so when I got up, I slept for a couple of hours on the grass in a park. I went to a bar in West Hollywood last night, as a last resort, to see if I could find a place to stay for the night. I met one fellow who I conversed with but he could not help me. I am going to talk to him today, he may be able to help me.

Soup Kitchen

Today I ate at a soup kitchen in Beverly Hills at a Presbyterian Church. Only about forty people show up at this location. They serve you a stew with turkey and beans. It is yummy, I'll have to admit. They also serve ice cream. There is a woman volunteering there who knows some city councilman. I gave her my blog address because I felt the city councilman might want to know what's going on with today's struggling American citizens my age. I forgot to mention an incident that occurred a couple of days ago. I was sitting in front of a coffee shop when a man of Jewish faith came up to me and asked if I would like something to eat. I asked him: "How do you know I need something to eat?" "You asked someone for a cigarette", he replied. Then I said "Well, how about buying me a pack of cigarettes?" He obliged. As we were walking to the gas station to buy cigarettes, I was peppering him with questions about himself. Is this person trying to redeem himself by doing good to someone strange on the street? After buying the cigarettes, we go to a supermarket to purchase half a chicken. I thanked him and walked away, still intrigued.

Despairity

Well, it's Monday, the start of the work week for most people. I had an interesting day yesterday, Sunday. I was walking down Santa Monica Boulevard on my way to a friends house when I stopped someone who was looking at a copy of the New York Post in a vending machine. I asked him if he was from New York and he said yes. We talked for two hours after that about various topics. It turns out, he's a plastic surgeon! Cool! He was not a happy camper, though. He was disappointed in the country in general. He made interesting comments that made me think. It was a pretty cool conversation in general, you don't meet a lot of industry professionals walking down the street in West Hollywood. You just don't. He knows a lot about hormonal therapy for men. Men generally lose their hormones when they approach mid-age, which can lead to depression. Depression then can lead to cancer and various other ailments. Pretty frightening. I gave him my number in the hopes of seeing him again.

Missed a Few Days

Well, it's Sunday and I missed few days. I stayed in a hotel room for two nights in Hollywood for a bit of R and R but now its back to square one. Things should get better in the next month or two, depending on what the Department of Public Social Services wants to do with me as a client. I'm hoping they will have housing available for me for the next nine-month period. I really do want become a productive member of society and be able to enjoy my life as well, without any restraints. I ran into the author again while walking to the library in Beverly Hills, we had a nice chat. I also ran into to another acquaintance while crossing the street in West Hollywood a few days ago. He is very busy screening his movie for potential mass exposure. I still have not had a chance to post a picture of myself, my budget being very small but I will sometime this month. This, I believe, is my second week posting entries on this blog. I feel a sense of relief knowing I have a place I call home, be it virtual. Til' next time.

Somethin's Amiss

I am no longer able to stay at this person's home. He did not give me an explanation but I can only guess. This same situation occurred a few months ago when a schizophrenic (he openly admits) offered me a place to stay and then retracted that offer the next day because he realized he would not be able to accommodate me. The building he lived in was managed by the city, I presume, as part of an effort to house mentally ill people. So now I must be patient, waiting three months to reapply for "General Relief" and the "Grow Program", which are both sponsored by the county of Los Angeles, to obtain a voucher for an SRO (single room occupancy unit) downtown in a safe, clean, guarded building amongst the chaotic atmosphere in that area (skid row). In the meantime, I must suffer, compromising myself to stay somewhere. I will not go to a shelter to join a "rehabilitation program" because I have not reached that state yet. It takes a strong mind to resist temptation. I will continue writing on this blog and working parttime as well as trying to reestablish my credit. I cannot afford to have my attention averted by an intensified "program" designed to redirect people back into the workforce.

Rainy Day

It's raining and thundering out here in California. Rain makes you feel sleepy. It should be clearing out soon enough though. I had a conversation with the person who is giving me a place to stay last night. He explained to me that he has certain disadvantages. He says he is bipolar (yikes) but his I.Q. is high. He also says he performed all over the world as a musician. One would be skeptical, being in a town such as L.A. I guess everything will be alright as long as I remain disaffected. Only that one person knows what's best for him or her.

The fourth-coming

Hello. Well, it's been a hell of a weekend. I had a good few moments and a few moments that were frightening. I am definitely expecting too much of myself. What I am beginning to realize is that I tend to blow off steam. Going through a period in your life such as this can open the door to a lot of opportunities but you can definitely break down if you are not prepared emotionally. After meeting this person who graciously gave me a place to stay, I began to wonder why. There has to be a reason. What does this person expect from me? I found out several things, although I still do not know the full story. The building in which he lives in is part of the HUD (Housing and Urban Development) program. They house people who need some sort of assistance with their lives whether it be emotionally or physically. They also house people of low-income status and immigrants, Russians being the majority in this area. Where does that leave this person? He seems perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He is attending a school, studying sound engineering among other things. Why does he feel he can help me? How did he obtain this sort of subsidized housing? We have not talked much about that but my guess is that, from where he comes from, Columbia, that is their custom. Reaching out to those in need. I found it a bit strange, being an American. Let's face it, we treat each other like shit.
I went to a place in West Hollywood called Hamburger Mary's on Thursday which hosted kareoke. Singing is one way to vent fustration be it through humor or through passion. I sing for the passion of it. The crowd consisted of mostly locals, both young and old, gay and straight. I sang Vertigo, originally performed by U2. It is not an easy song to sing. I did quite well after a couple of verses. I did not do much of any thing else this weekend. While walking to the library, I talked to an author whom I met a year ago. It is always a pleasure to see him. We always talk about writing. A well-spoken individual, I must say. Occasionally, he will smoke a cigarette on the balcony of his home. I use the Beverly Hills library to post these entries and do research or just enjoy myself. I've rediscovered the joy of reading which I've suppressed so many years. The only thing I would pick up is a New York Post to read the scandalous gossip on the rich and famous as well as the infamous in New York and all over the world. I did not get a chance to post a picture but it will probably be posted this week.